What I have learned from the first three events of the Professional Women’s Bowling Tour
I recently re-read Dr. Dean Hinitz’s article called Grinding, posted in Bowling this Month. If you haven’t read the article I highly recommend it! Well worth it and a good way to shift ourselves out of feeling stuck.
“See if any of this rings a bell around competition scenarios you have experienced. No matter what you do, no matter what ball, what angle, what strategy, you cannot carry the back row—or worse, you can’t get to the pocket consistently. It is confusing, frustrating, maddening. You cannot string strikes. Scores are low. You just have to grind through. You make the cut. Or you don’t. Either way, you are exhausted and spent.”
—Dr. Dean Hinitz
So far my tour season has felt as Dr. Dean described at different moments throughout each stop, but especially at Queens. I felt like I was going against the grain for so much of the event. I stopped listening to my gut, my intuition, and I forced my ball motion into what I thought it should be based on my experience in practice. I haven’t done that in a long time, so it’s hard not to feel embarrassed that I did that or feel like an idiot.
Here is my best guess at why things went so sideways:
I fell just “short” of making the cut in the previous two events and I pressed extra hard during this event
I had an incredible look during practice and built up my expectations
I have played my best when I have been able to play 5 board and left and was excited when that’s where I was able to play during practice and it looked good with multiple bowling balls
Several people suggested that I do well on this pattern adding to my own expectations
I forgot that my intention was to focus on peace and joy and I got caught up in the external environment and the story
Oof, the balance of bowling, and essentially life, is a fine line but it doesn’t have to feel hard. Wow, what a mind shift! There were so many times when the idea of balance came up during Queens. I kept thinking that finding balance was hard and I’m still working through that idea now. I felt the push and pull between being fierce versus playing angry, trying to make something happen versus knowing something good can happen, accepting an outcome versus settling for an outcome before even throwing the shot, analyzing versus intuiting. Whew, the list goes on. At times I found myself saying, “the balance between x and y is so fine”, and I found myself feel into how hard it felt. It felt hopeless and gross.
In the “Grinding” article, Dr. Dean discusses shifting our focus from the grind and the belief that everything worth having is hard work into playful curiosity that allows you to move through life joyfully. Isn’t that what we’re doing this for? It’s the entire reason my intention for the tour is two words: peace and joy. So how can I play in that space? How do I remember in moments when things feel sticky? For as long as I can remember, I have felt like I needed to be serious when doing this type of work (inner reflection, deepening awareness, any kind of growth) but why?
How do I want to move, be, and live going forward? This really goes back to my original intention for the tour, to focus, feel, and imbibe peace and joy. I have gotten off track. I have gotten caught up in the story, the external circumstances, the expectations, and the desire to be seen and at the same time feeling terrified of being seen.
I am thankful for this week off between events. It has given me space to stop, take a step back and re-align. I choose to change my beliefs and perspectives, and in essence, change what I am creating moment to moment. As I type this I can feel the weight lifting from my chest and shoulders. I will align with what brings the most joy and I will focus on doing this moment to moment. If I notice myself going down a road that feels incongruous, I will do my best to notice early and choose a better way of thinking and being. There will be moments where I will forget because that is human, but I will incorporate daily practices to remind myself each and every morning and evening. I shift into abundance, joy, and levity. If you notice at any time that I am not committed to this or I am acting out of alignment, I encourage you to call me out on it. I may not like hearing it in the moment but it will always be better for me to hear/read it!
Let’s see! Stay curious!